Bluetooth toilet seat

My Godson is an absolute poppet and the apple of his Godmother’s eye. However he like many little boys (and some big) does have some trouble remembering to lift the seat when he uses the bathroom. Obviously this isn’t such a pleasant situation for the ladies of the house and when the time came to buy a new seat his parents had a cunning plan. Whilst Daddy J was fitting the seat my Godson wondered in.

‘’What you doing?’’ asked my Godson.

‘’Fitting a new toilet seat,’’ replied his Dad.

‘’Why?’’ Came the response.

‘’Because we have bought a special new one.’’

‘’Ooo, what’s so special about it?’’

‘’It’s a bluetooth one’’.


‘’It uses a special technology that lets us know if someone has dribbled on it.’’

Looking nonchalant, ‘’oh.’’

Exit Godson.

Later that evening.

Enter Godson.


‘’Yes ?’’

‘’Why did you buy that toilet seat?’’

‘’Its’ a special bluetooth one.’’

‘’But it isn’t, I have checked. There are no wires.’’

‘’That’s because it’s wireless, just like a laptop.’’

‘’But how does it work?’’.

‘’Welllll if someone dribbles on the seat it analyses the DNA and sends me an email.’’

Child wide eyed, ‘’no.’’

‘’Yes,. look see’’. Mum shows child her email account. There sure enough is an email from the toilet seat company thanking her for her recent purchase of a bluetooth toilet seat and listing the people who have been registered to use the seat. (Cunningly my friend had sent this to herself under the actual name of the company who made the toilet seat should the need for evidence arise.)

A few days later, enter child.

‘’Mum, Mum I have done an experiment. I dribbled on the seat but I wiped it off. I wonder what will happen?’’

That night my friend again showed her son her email  inbox. There in black and white was another email from the toilet seat company announcing the name of the person who had urinated on the seat. My Godson is flabbergasted.

Two days later and a panicked Godson races to his Mum.

‘’Mum, Mum, I dribbled on the toilet seat but it was an accident and I wiped it off straight away. I am sorry I didn’t mean to do it.’’

Mother reassures child its all ok whilst hiding a secret smug smile .

Since then there have been no more soggy toilet seat incidences and my Godson is absolutely fastidious about putting the toilet seat up when he needs the bathroom.

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2 Responses

  1. Ben Lacey
    Ben Lacey at |

    Plain and simple – this is genius! x

  2. Mrs_Moons
    Mrs_Moons at |

    I am still ‘diddleing’ over this 🙂

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